“Life is not about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself”
George Bernard Shaw
In the midst of motherhood, it is so easy to feel a sense of disconnect, as if we’re lost and unable to remember who we were before kids. This is a natural occurrence as each new phase of motherhood pushes us into uncharted territory.
In Part 1 of this series, I talked about feeling lost when my sons entered into their teenage years. When children are small, they need us all the time and for everything. As they get older, they begin to need us less and less. As they spread their independent wings, so much of our identity has been tied to taking of care of them, that we feel perplexed and a little lost.
Our New Role
What do we do with all this free time? What is our role now?
During this new phase, it’s not uncommon for moms to question their purpose. After all, we’ve been so concentrated on being caretakers for everyone else, that we forget what it means to take care of ourselves.
If you’re a mom and you’re wondering as I was, Now, who am I?, you are not alone. And the great news is….you are not lost either! The same young woman you were before children is still there. You just may have to do a little digging to find her.
Creating Yourself
Creating yourself and connecting to your essence should be the focus for this new time in your life. To help you “remember” who you were, here are some suggestions:
- Put on some of your favorite music
- Go out to lunch/dinner with a girlfriend
- Go to your favorite bookstore and pick out a book that interests you
- Treat yourself to an ice cream or yogurt
- Take a relaxing walk and soak up the beauty around you
- Try a yoga, Barre or exercise class
- Buy yourself a journal and write down your dreams
- Listen to a podcast that interests you
- Schedule a mani/pedi
- Get a massage
Use this time to re-discover the “not-so-lost” you. You are the painter with the paintbrush in your hand. What picture will you paint? What is your masterpiece going to look like when it’s complete? What do you want to accomplish and what are your biggest dreams?
Share with me what you plan on creating for your future below in the comments.